Posh Toilets

Flushing Meadows, Services Elite, call them what you like, but these are the poshest bogs I’ve ever visited…

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Smells like a rose garden in there too, and although it’s not advisable I’m sure it would be perfectly feastible feasible to eat off the floor.

Of course I wouldn’t know about the men’s, over the years I’ve discovered that Dave has no interest in the style, decor, layout of the repository in question. Me reporting on the state of airport loo’s is also a one sided conversation.

So just for the ladies:

One glides into a rose scented area the size of a football pitch. I’m sure they could’ve squashed even more loos into there, but decided on including two dance floors instead.

After using the toilet one has decided upon, it flushes itself with a swipe of one’s hands. One then glides from the toilet across half of the dance floor to wash one’s hands. A wash basin for every toilet with a HUGE mirror above each one. Not a splash to be found on any of them and they’re each surrounded by “built in” blue LED lights, ALL working too. T’is truly a sight to behold. I was going to take a photo, but felt a bit silly about it while two women were stood preening themselves.

Bog standard score = 11 out of 10. Truly awesome.

So studying the “All you need” list in no particular order:

  • One has a pee on the football pitch, then washes one’s hands whilst peering into a designer mirror to check out the eye make up is still where it should be.
  • Stay out of the children’s toilets if one is over the age of ten.
  • Go to the ATM.
  • Then use the defibrillator to revive the wallet.
  • Forget the “rest area” it’s in one of the biggest shopping malls in Europe, there’s plenty of posh bars and restaurants on the top floor where one can have a nice rest. Plus a very nice view. Plus a much needed glass of vino.
  • Lockers? In a shopping mall? Dear me, one wants to walk round showing off one’s designer label bags full of goodies. That pair of sandals from Primark deserves some status.
  • Nursing rooms are only required after reviving the wallet.
  • Bobaloos? I asked a Spanish native about this, turns out it’s (another) toilet arena reserved exclusively for persons called Bob.
  • The photo booth, well, whatever pulls your chain. Try getting the results of a shiny photo “selfie” on Farcebook without a scanner.
  • Phone: A last resort in the grand scheme of life if your battery’s dead and needs reviving.        

Oh, and there’s free Wi-Fi throughout the shopping mall, only available if your mobile’s still alive and transmitting.

Well that’s it, I need a wee…

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