Humour

Ten ways to remember things before you forget

Or, ten ways to remember several items before you forget to remember them. The “To Do” list just waiting not to happen…

Yes folks, the conundrum mentioned above has sparked off another edition in my highly practical series called:

“HOW TO”

This week: HOW TO do the “TO DO” in style, [surprisingly it’s not about dance moves, that’s a lesson I’ve reserved for next week]

So we’ll call each item a “gift.” After all, it is a gift to know what’s on the agenda, even if there’s a mop and bucket section.

Note to remember: Being in the wrong place when a gift comes to mind is the main issue. (Copy and Paste that if necessary).

So in no particular order: 

1) Sat on the loo: If a gift is registered, write it down on the toilet seat some toilet paper. If there’s no pen to hand (which there usually isn’t) take your time creating letters out of tissue paper. Buzz words alone might be quicker, but make sure the remainder of the gift itself doesn’t go down the pan. Doesn’t get flushed away.

2) Stood under a warm shower one suddenly thinks of a wonderful gift, but one is trapped. Always take a tube of toothpaste in there so you can squeeze any gift that appears onto the glass. Whichever digit or orifice you squeeze it from is a personal thing, and cannot be brought into question because you won’t remember the answer. (Or it could be an excuse not to). 

3) A gift can occur when watching TV, press pause immediately, if it doesn’t do pause, forget it. And don’t waste time pausing for thought later on, it’s a no brainer.

4) When out and about in public spaces, we women always have tissues and / or eyeliner, lipstick, in our kitchen sink handbags. If one can actually find such particulars, they work quite well together. But even so, an outdoor gift might end up somewhat smudged and require a CSI team for retrieval.

5) In the car: No driving when a gift is calling. Stop by at the nearest house with your gift and let the owner know you’ll collect it tomorrow. (A deposit may be required).

6) Shopping: This is where the word “gift” can be a bit confusing, so we’ll use the word “item” because it’s the weekly shop, not a trip to Harrods. Whilst wandering round the supermarket in zombie mode, an item that never even made it onto this week’s shopping list suddenly finds itself in the top ten. But it’s not within earshot view. In this scenario one is left with three “on the spot” decisions.

a) Turn the shopping trolley into a bumper car and race round to the correct aisle quick smart. Or, not quick smart if you’ve forgotten where the item is stacked.

b) “Not quick smart” also applies if the item has been moved somewhere else to where it normally resides. [Happens a lot at Tesco that. It’s worse than doing a boring jig-saw puzzle with several pieces missing.]

c) Leave the item on the shelf out of spite, even if it’s out of stock. The principle counts.

7) The Laptop / Smart phone / I-pad etc: Ah yes, there’s so many apps to help us remember our gifts. TOO MANY, and it’s TOO easy to forget which darn app one is using. Gets even more serious when several apps are used for several different types of gift. Where am I? Who am I?

8) The REAL kitchen sink: No time to dry hands, the gift has to be written down on soggy paper, ASAP.

9) Interruptions: Wear ear plugs if you feel that a gift is on the verge of take off.

10) A gift shared is a gift halved, if you remember someone else’s gift for them, let them know. They could save a gift just for you too. However circumstances play a part, one person’s gift processing system may be superior to another’s.

Here’s a gift list I created earlier this week, as you can see it clearly states how well I’ve followed my own expert advice:

SAM_1436  

And to end on a more relaxed way of forgetting a gift…

Down at the pub: One has supped a glass too many and suddenly a gift rises to the surface, it’s unclear what it is. But at least there’s a bonus. In this situation, it’s always a happy gift, a laughing gift, a pissed gift with a sense of humour and definitely a cork corker to share with friends.

All of a sudden it turns into “joke mode.” Everyone in the pub hears it being relayed to your friends at 70 decibels, and admires your wit and humour. It’s hilarious, get another round in. No need for a beer mat, making notes at a time like this is not relevant, and anyway, that particular gift will stick itself in a hidden vault forever and ever, Amen.

So here endeth the lesson: A lesson learned is a lesson forgotten…

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