Get Me Out Of Here

Potty Ponderings

WARNING: This post contains a lot of numbers…

I was sat on the toilet yesterday and it suddenly occurred to me that we’re now the proud owners of THREE different toilets. But it doesn’t stop there. Truly blessed with a bountiful array of stock in the plumbing department, we own quite a lot more than just toilets:

  • THREE showers
  • FIVE sinks
  • ONE BIG bath
  • SEVEN mixer taps
  • TWO filtered water systems (with a tap each)
  • FIVE hosepipes

Aside from the hosepipes, the above items are dotted about within THREE bathrooms and TWO kitchens in TWO different countries…

Confusing or what?

Not long after we got back to the UK, (whilst dying for a wee) I could see Dave headed towards the bathroom and dived in ahead of him. Not bad considering it required running cross legged down the boat.

“Ha Ha! You’ll have to use the other one…!”

What other one?

Eh? Oh…

That particularly unconvincing trick worked just the once…

It’s so nice when you’ve got a choice of which receptacle to use. At our Spanish home “one” can be lazy and use the downstairs loo. Or “one” can combine the experience with a workout up 16 marble stairs to the first floor.

Afterwards, “one” then has the option of another workout up another 16 marble stairs to the second floor, or a “work down” the same 16 stairs back to planet earth… 

There’s even 10 stairs to walk up to get to the front door…

Do the math, we also own 42 marble stairs, no, make that 52, there’s 10 at both sides of the house outside…

The only time this can cause a problem is when “one” would like to open wide the doors of the solarium and sit out on the roof terrace. A day out on the roof terrace for me involves taking several necessary’s up there.

1) Sunglasses

2) Factor 50

3) Something to read

4) Large bottle of water with ice bunged in it

5) Sun cap

6) Notepad

7) Pen

8) Camera

9) Laptop (but only occasionally because most of the time I couldn’t be bothered with the darn thing).

10) And I always forget something. Which usually means going down 16, or even 32 marble stairs to retrieve whatever it is, and back up again.

So I use my travel bag (really) as a suitcase… 

On the contrary, what Dave takes up there:

1) Sunglasses

END.

Phones aren’t allowed as they can shatter the peace. However with all the doors open upstairs, if we hear the house phone, (your turn, no it’s your turn etc). Simply dash down 16 marble stairs to grab the one in the main bedroom…

But the only real problem occurs when it’s wine o’ clock time… 32 steps is a long way to go carrying TWO glasses of wine without spilling any… And it’s not such a clever idea to bring a bottle of white up there. Just to state the obvious, it goes warm a bit quick, even in the shade…

We’ve thought about installing a mini bar with fridge in the solarium, but it wouldn’t look right. Even considered constructing a pulley system of sorts, but that wouldn’t look right either.

Problem solved: We’ll use beer mugs…

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