Humour

The meaning of Heth

See now there it goes again underlining “Heth” with a squiggly line as a spelling mistake. No matter where I may wander on or offline, it’s always the same. But it’s my adoptive name!

Be it Farcebook {squiggly line} Titter, creating a blog post or commenting, my Alias has no meaning at all. Hello, Hello, {echo} can anybody hear me? Have I turned invisible? Have I ceased to exist???

Sounds like a classic scene from Fawlty {squiggly line}Towers:

Sybil: “No you’re not here Basil.” SLAP! [Digs stiletto into his shin]

Basil: “Oh, so it was just a dream then…”

Unlike the classic verses of Fawlty {squiggly line} Towers. I was recently inspired to find out if the classic verse of “Heth” had any meaning at all…

OK, truth be told, I was bored one day and googled {squiggly line} it. See, even google {squiggly line} itself has to be written with a capital G else there’s potential for jail time. 

Sod Google this was Heth with a capital “H” on a mission. So I was fully expecting:

“Did you mean HEATH?”

Much to my surprise and awe, the search results said otherwise! But alas, it refers to a Biblical person, so it can’t possibly be me. He, yes HE accrued the following important achievements in life:

  • Worked as a PR consultant and helped Noah publicise his ark.
  • Is an ancestor of a bloke who enjoyed hitting titty’s.
  • Owns a letter of someone’s alphabet.

So basically he did charitable work for a fee, descended from a pervert, and got rewarded for his efforts by the Hebrews.

Canaan himself may beg to differ, well he CANOOT…

Please try and stay awake whilst reading the following evidence, even I couldn’t make this up:

Wiki tells us:

“Heth is, according to Genesis 10:15, the second son of Canaan, who is son of Ham, son of Noah. Heth is the ancestor of the Hittites, second of the twelve Canaanite nations descended from his sons who lived near Hebron.”

And Dictionary dot com reckons:

“Heth definition: The eighth letter of the Hebrew alphabet.”

Hang on in there, it gets even more intense…

“Topical Bible” goes into “a bit” more detail:

“Heth (cheth): In Genesis 23:10 the ancestor of the Hittites. As the various peoples who occupied Canaan were thought to belong to one stock, Genesis 10:15, Chronicles 1:13 makes Heth the second son of Caanan. In Genesis 23 the “sons of Heth” occupy Hebron, but they were known to have come there from the north. A reference to this seems to be preserved in Genesis 10:15.16 where Heth is placed between Sidon and the Jebusites.”

So SCROLLED IN BIG LETTERS of a biblical sense, it has to be said, I’m totally underwhelmed. As for the alias “Cheth” from the alias “Heth” how rude.

Even if it was me, according to that lot I died thousands of years ago, and somewhere along the lineage a transgender operation must’ve took place. No wonder Heth isn’t recognised…

Note: Genesis 24:35: 003, Chronicles 2:13: divided by PI to the power of infinity…

HETH = ME, MOI, MI.

Here endeth {squiggly line} the lesson…

~~~

On the subject of lineage: Way after the Bible was invented, in the here and now of the 13th century…

According to our family tree (using my real name in case you were wondering) I descend from a French Baron. So I come from France.

Dave is even further up the order of peerage, his family tree tells us he descends from French royalty! So we’re both from France.

High up in the pecking order as both family’s were, we each have descendants that must’ve decided to move here and gain pleb {squiggly line} status. “One” has to wonder why? Perhaps all the snobby people were cast out by renegades.

“Send ‘em to Britland, that’ll sort ‘em.”

Just think there must be millions of Brits who are French and don’t know it.

Unfortunately family trees don’t tell you when people moved from one country to another. For example they could all have travelled over on the same ferry, or used the channel tunnel on the same day, sometime in the 16th century.

So next on the “moving about Europe” list is to apply for residency in Spain. But as the word suggests, “one” has to be living there first…

However, it begs the question: Will they accept “Heth?” Hmm…

2 thoughts on “The meaning of Heth

  1. His name was Seth – and the had a lithp.

    “Heth is, according to Genesis 10:15, the second son of Canaan, who is son of Ham, son of Noah. Heth is the ancestor of the Hittites, second of the twelve Canaanite nations descended from his sons who lived near Hebron.”

    Like

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