With ref to that meal down the pub on Monday

Well it was different if nothing else…

I ordered the “Nicoise” salad, sounds posh? Even my spell checker thinks it doesn’t exist, and it didn’t.

Turned out to be rubber potatoes with hundreds of olives served on a bed of stale salad, and all covered in HP sauce. {Oh yummy} I tried to eat it, but alas it just wasn’t possible. Note: Olives weren’t even on the menu, they replaced what should’ve been a sliced boiled egg. I hate olives, and they didn’t even belong on my plate.

Meantime Dave ordered sirloin steak, which turned out to be truly incinerated rump with soggy chips included. {Oh yummy again} He tried to eat that too, but alas…

So with two thirds of each plateful remaining untouched, we both gave up. When someone came to ask us “Is everything OK?” The answer was a combined “No” and we calmly explained why.

Three reasons we should’ve gone elsewhere:

1) We were the only one’s ordering food.

2) We had to wait over half an hour for our “unfit for purpose” feast to be prepared.

3) The head chef came out and told us in advance, “I’m just finishing off getting your food ready.” Which half reassured us it was going to be a culinary feast, even so, all bets were off.

Truth be told, it was a culinary disaster on a scale we’ve never experienced before. We didn’t even have to make a big deal about it to the chef, he refunded our money and offered us free drinks like it was something he has to do all the time!

Then he said they were “training up new staff,” which made me wonder why they were bothering. The invisible trainees obviously weren’t capable of distinguishing different kinds of food in the first place. Besides he’d already informed us he was preparing it…

We suspected there was no-one else in the kitchen at all. It would’ve been classic entertainment if he’d gone in there shouting at inanimate objects in an effort to make us believe.

Sad thing is, they sacked the landlord a couple of years ago, did the place up and started serving decent food. The place was busy every night – at first, now standards are even lower than before.

It’s not like we’ve bothered carrying out a survey or anything, but since then we’ve heard about other people’s experiences of manky meals there too.

So what is this place and where is it?

OUTED: “The Green Man” at Willington.

RED is how you feel when you check the bill.

Bewildered is how you feel when you get a refund without an argument.

GREEN is how you feel on the way out.

It’s also claimed fame and fortune for it’s wide choice of real ales, so why is it always empty? On Friday nights it does really well, there’s about 10 humans lined up at the bar along with a couple of viscous dogs.

We don’t mind going in just for a drink sometimes because aside from the odd canine fight, sit round the corner and it’s nice and quiet. Just be careful which wine you choose though, there’s only Cabernet Sauvignon that sits well on the stomach…

Whilst on the subject of wine, here’s yet another fine example of how your average Brit gets ripped off something chronic:

One large glass of white wine in the UK costs anything between 6 – 7 quid. The equivalent in Spain is no more than €1.20 cents, (tops) and we’re talking about good quality wine! Just to add insult to injury a decent bottle over there costs all of €2.00…

However, that is but a drop in the ocean (excuse pun) when it comes to reasons to be cheerful about moving away. It’s all about the HUGE difference in lifestyle, with a higher, healthier standard of living.

Holiday makers who go to Spain for sun, sea, sand and booze don’t get chance to see what the country has to offer as a home to live in…

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