Our New Life In Spain

Unmentionables Delivery Reassessment

THERE’S A BIGGER PROBLEM….

As previously mentioned somewhere on here, our unmentionables precious stuff may have some difficulty being delivered to our casa in an arctic lorry. There’s no way for a beast of that size to shuffle down our little road without taking swimming pools, balustrades, exotic garden features, and general outdoor furniture with it. So fair enough, the road at the top would do, but only with a human chain passing the likes of Aunty Betty’s crystal vase, and uncle Bert’s bicycle clippers to our abode.

Spanish friends amidst the mile long human chain of actual delivery may question:

“Por qué necesita este?”

“No lo sé.” (Just keep passing the crap on dear neighbour, pour favor).

HOWEVER, today we personally went down and re-assed the situation, basically there’s only two impossible routes for an articulated giant not to be able to pass through, end of:

  • One means going under a bridge too low, unless we temporarily put the AP7 lazy motorway on stilts. “Oh the M6 is busy tonight dear.” (One car per two minutes). Besides it’s much too pretty to disturb.
  • The other means going down a narrow minor road, with two sharper than we thought 90 degree bends…

We suspected the latter might be possible,  however on closer inspection, it’s definitely NOT. Oh dear, no way…

The thing that irks a bit is that we didn’t require an arctic lorry in the first place, six boxes, two toolboxes and two pictures just doesn’t do it. Our unmentionables shared between five other folks unmentionables is no excuse for non delivery to the door.

Looks like we might have to bring in “white van man” to meet and greet from the point of no return, flanked front and back by La Guardia. [Gives them something to do] You see them cruising about sometimes on a jolly day out. Armed with guns and tazers in flashy cars with air con, the worst they have to deal with is finding a lost dog.

So there we go, as usual, nothing’s ever easy to deal with when it involves the UK. Ah,, but the problem is in Spain??? Well road access should’ve been worked out from the point of origin, it’s not rocket science these days… Instead, we’re going to have to fart about doing their job for them, for god’s sake there’s no furniture, so why can’t they employ Mr white van man when we’ve paid for delivery to the door…?

No rant required, the logistics of Friday 21st of November will be fascinating.

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