Humour

Sex On The Beach!

Ooh missus…! Now then, now then, calm down:

It’s a cocktail…

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Check out the colour scheme, it’s just peachy at the base till it’s stirred,, as opposed to shaken…

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PROOF…

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Seeing as this is such a colourful blog post (with perhaps imaginary wanderings). Here’s another colourful story with a very colourful end result…

A couple of weeks ago we were at a garden centre and I noticed a plant that was looking a bit sad, well, a lot sad. It was all on it’s own tucked away from the bloomers {excuse relative pun or not} with a price tag of one solitary euro. I just knew I could revive it. So I took it to the counter along with several other purchases, and the guy at the till said “No senora, por su.”

One of the many things we’ve learned about the Spanish is that if they politely offer you something for free, no polite amount of persuasion otherwise will suffice. However, they totally understand that us non-natives have been brought up to feel the need to give something back. Forget that, it’s all part of their respectful culture…

So I added my euro to the total and he returned it, bless him. Two weeks later it’s been transformed, and I’m sure he would be proud to see the end result:

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And there’s ten more buds awaiting…

In the UK this plant wouldn’t survive either inside or out. Yes OK, an irrigation system helps. But with such a delicate thing, the right place, and the right amount of water from the system sets it free.

Going by what I’ve learned over the many years, I would’ve thought it needed much more water and I almost drowned it here at first! Now it’s already twice the size it was, and needs re-potting into a bigger plant pot. New flowers are guaranteed for the rest of the year, it happens with so many of them. They don’t even need “a rest” during winter…

~~~

As for us two, we call it “a day off” when we stay at home in the shade for the odd day (like today). That’s “a day off” from walking glorious miles to somewhere else, or taking the bus and then walking for glorious miles somewhere beyond…

As a bonus, aside from the bus siesta from 2pm to 4pm, they’re always on time, and we’re not even on a main bus route, it just does a sort of local circular thing…

Temperature wise the roof terrace was off the scale today, which means 50 degrees C and beyond. Can’t judge when it goes higher than the thermometer can manage!

We’ve come to the conclusion that rather than their intended purpose, the tiles give up and actually reflect / magnify the heat up there. Even the conservatory with it’s darkened glass was cooler, nothing new to us, except in winter it’s the opposite way round.

So we sat out here in the shade of the front terrace (with the ceiling fan on) amidst a very comfortable 32 degrees C. While wearing, well, nothing much, not even flip flops, with wonderful warm, dry, clean, air circulating around us:

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One day I’ll post a photo of our settee and two chairs out here, but Dave’s sat on one at the moment and is:

a) Refusing to move.

b) Way too relaxed to move.

I totally get it, I’m too relaxed to take a photo anyway.

Oh, and so far today, amidst the noise of the birds a twittering, there’s been a sum total of 3 cars gone past. All people who live here of course, it’s a no thru road, as are most of them…

Don’t get things out of proportion, as far as this wonderful very long lasting sun is concerned, there are no limitations. The blistering heat of the roof terrace is optional.

Down on the ground, protect your skin with Factor 50, drink plenty of water, wear your sunglasses, and also (optional) is a sun hat / cap. You know you’re protected, no red painful skin or soreness. Did you know Factor 50 means it only works for 50 minutes? I mean till re-applying. No bragging involved, we can both walk miles without breaking a sweat. Just follow the common sense rules.

This is our own personal wardrobe collection of caps…

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A couple of mine are facing the wrong way because the “diamonds” on the front are far too spectacular to show on here. One of them even has the word HOT written on it, but we’ve had far too much of that in this blog post.

Coming from a damp, cold country, it’s still erm, “different” to see people walking round in bikinis whilst doing their shopping, but nobody bats an eyelid because it’s just the norm.

Talking of shopping, well, such a mundane task can easily be hijacked whatever time of day. Our local bar is just round the corner from our local Aldi — and we have to walk past it first. If there’s someone sat outside we know, well that’s it, shopping gets forgotten. “Oh sod it, Appy Alidi can wait till tomorrow, we’ll go home and come back down here for a meal later on instead…”

This is what anyone deserves when they’ve worked damned hard all their life. Sex on the beach is also optional…

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