No Walking No Talking

Have you ever tried walking without using your big toe? I´ve recently discovered that just using the other four toes on their own, results in the body wanting to fall over sideways. Fascinating,, go on, try it out. Note: It might be a good idea not to stand near the likes of a prickly bush, or any electrical items while carrying out this clinical trial.

Well that must´ve got you wondering if I´m either bored or got nothing to write about. Correct on both counts.

Why? The background story: I have some “high impact” pumps for walking in, as good as trainers except they don´t look chunky…


They´ve done many miles now, last week I noticed the one on the right wasn´t supporting my foot anymore. Ah well, it was hurting the toe a bit but never mind, if I just tie it up tighter… When I had a look at it there was a dent in the side of the heel. They may look like canvas shoes, do not be deceived, inside is a layer of titanium thick stuff. It´s comfy and stops your feet from wiggling about on awkward angles. However THE DENT caused the foot to BEND a bit like a banana, and it hurt. Even when I´d taken them off…

So after walking round like that for almost a week, a lump appeared under my big toe. I stopped wearing them, but too late the damage was done, and a few days ago inflamation set in. Under, over, and down the side of the toenail. Red raw and swollen into the bone. OUCH.

Since then, I´ve been sat in a chair outside on the terrace, slowly turning to jelly. The abs have absconded, the muscles are mushy, and there´s nothing I can do about it. Getting up and moving around is limited to going to the loo and going to bed, the latter of which involves hobbling up the stairs… I´ve even been forced into watching crap TV at night…

Posting some wonderful photos of the house and terrace, as observed from where I´m installed is tempting. But not when this is all about a big toe.

It´s at times like this when it would be quite pleasant to convelesce up on the roof terrace. But unfortunately I can hardly get up the first set of (marble) stairs, the second lot would be a step too far. Emphasis on rock hard marble meeting inflamed appendage,, with but the sole of a slipper inbetween… {CRINGE}

Oh how can I complain, sat out here in the warm February sun, surrounded by beautiful scenery? Simple, it´s fff AGONY and painkillers are futile…

There´s been a slight improvement today,, I managed to have a shower!!! A couple of days ago the spray would´ve been unbearable, even cold water would´ve felt like red hot pins being fired at my tree trunk of a big toe. (Reverse acupuncture). At the first opportunity, I´m going to walk to the Adidas store in my slippers, and find some dent proof space boots with built in air con.

Lesson learned: If ever you have to adjust the way you walk to cater for your footware. Don´t fart about, abandon them immediately and move swiftly on, while you can…

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