First Grand Prix I’ve Ever Been To

2016-03-16 18.02.17

All that space and just one car on the track. Reminds me of the roads round here, get two cars one after the other and it’s gridlock. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if the cops consider that to be a serious traffic offence…

Cop car pulls over second car, and a six foot tall replica of Adonis steps out wearing a uniform. Hmm…

He´s also wearing a Lancashire accent like me. {Hmm again, of the opposite kind…}

“Nah then, nah then, wot’s goin on ere laddie?”

“Well sir I…”

“Never mind all that, thee no´s thars not allowed to tailgate within 100 metres of t´ car in front.”

“Yes I do know but…”

“Thars no if´s and buts about it lad, tha´s nicked.”

“But it´s an emergency! That´s why I was zooming along at 30 kilometres per hour. My Aunty Mabel here´s got a boil on her toe that needs lancing, I even thought about overtaking the guy.”

“Oh me god, is thee alreet Aunty Mabel? I used to have an Aunty Mabel too, but she never had a boil on er toe, well I don´t think she did. Anyway did tha watch the footy last night? What about that gooooooooooooal Messi scored, classic want it?”

“Yes it was, but we need to get to hospital before her toe falls off.”

“Aye laddie, tell thee wot, we´ll give thee a police escort tut thóspital, it´ll give us somet to do for a while. BUT remember to keep at least 100 metres beyind us. Ay´ll be watchin tha.”

“Why thank you officer.”

“Nay laddie, not a problem, we were headin that way back home for´t siesta. It´s hard life for us coppers round ére, cruising round´t area so´s locals know we exist. Gorgeous views all day n´ no crime. It´s two weeks since that cat went missin´ still an´t found it, kept us busy tho. Anyway, back tut futball….”

“Officer please,, Aunty Mabel may never walk again! Oh sod it, did you see that pass and how he scored from facing backwards, awesome!”

“So which team does thee support then? If it´s same as mine al forgit thee fine.


And on a final note:

Spanish Cop…

  spanish cop

VS Brit Cop…

fat brit cop

No comment as to which one I´d rather be arrested by…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s