Jumping Jellyfish

This year people are being warned to look before they leap into the Med. Costas included, there´s an abundance of jellyfish due to over-fishing of their predators…

From personal experience:

I once got stung by a jellyfish in Tunisia, it´s tentacles wrapped around my leg. “Somethings got me, somethings got me, HELLLLP!”  Visions of a people eating giant octopus came to mind…

At first Dave thought it was a game of silly buggers and waded away. Totally understandable under the circumstances, if he´s behind me there´s always the danger of him grabbing my waist pretending to be a shark. So perhaps I was playing the “shock payback” game??  “It’s real, it’s real, so hurry up I´m going to drown!”

It was only when a lifeguard came running into the sea, reality set in – for both of us – and everyone else. Dragged onto the beach I looked down and at first glance thought I´d been slashed several times by,, what??? As a medic ran towards us I thought he´d have some miracle cream that would put out the fire. Instead, he sliced open a tomato and pulled a bottle of white vinegar out of his backpack…

“Well good grief this is no time to be mixing a seaside salad mister, are you a chef in disguise?”  {Thought it best not to ask anymore polite questions when I noticed the knife in his back pocket}

By this time other holidaymakers were also offering goodies from their beach bags. Typical, I´m the one who´s about to die and there´s a crowd appears bearing fruit. With nothing else available, forget the last rights performed with bread and wine, it appears that red tomatoes and white vinegar make a good substitute.

Without warning,, the affected leg was held akimbo while the vinegar was poured down it, and squashed tomato’s where slapped, and rubbed on top. The searing pain doubled in intensity and I let out a scream that must´ve been heard about two beaches away. Any brief moment of decorum had gone. 

We were informed this was the best way to treat jellyfish burns and help to prevent infection where the skin had split. Yes, split, and this was also the first I´d heard of it being a brief encounter with a jellyfish…

Afterwards, I was carted up to our hotel room. {Get her out the way quick to prevent a mass evacuation of the area, oh, and take her through the back entrance too} During this covert operation I had one last thing to SHOUT OUT LOUD ABOUT:

“Is there no other way to do this? For god´s sake it´s our HONEYMOON…!”

To be fair though, I can highly recommend it as the perfect start to a successful marriage. It´s our 30th anniversary next year! Sincere congratulations to him for putting up with me for so long, without the need to ponder about what a hangman´s noose must feel like.

However, what a jellyfish “noose” feels like is similar to that of having a tattoo done. It´s the black ink that hurts the most, even so the pain fades quick, couple of days tops. But a jellyfish tattoo holds it´s searing pain for about two weeks. It even took months for the scars to fade and disappear.

Well,, that must just about be enough to keep the waters of the Med free of humans for a while. Might be a bit dodgy for the jellyfish too, I mean they might start eating each other.

This one’s got the right idea. Move on out, move on up…



Behold,, the worlds first flying jellyfish.

Not one to be the bearer of bad news or anything…

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