Humour

The Ice Cream Van Delivery Man

Forget “white van man.” This is a whole different set up…

The kids here are still at school, their three month, yes three month, summer holiday break hasn’t begun yet. So why does the ice cream van come round at approximately 1pm every afternoon?

Here he is, Mr “Costa Cones”

Gliding past from where I´m sat,, in the shade of 36 degrees C…

2016-06-13 13.52.39

…That´s a nice cool 42 in direct sun… (Bottom left dial).

2016-06-13 18.34.17

Mr Costa is not daft, he´s tech savvy. There´s adults out there who might want a cool ice cream / lolly, without the effort of rummaging around in their freezer to find one…

Even better for business,, “There might even be a few who haven´t thought of it yet today. But I´ll be there to remind them iced water is a bit boring without E numbers and something to get your teeth round…”

So he trundles along, up and down amidst the back roads of civilisation playing his theme tune. Which translated means,, “Ola, I´m on my way to you!” Being so quiet we can hear him from miles away, so there´s plenty of advance notice…

How it works once he´s arrived at your road: As previously stated on here somewhere there´s only one car that actually moves during any 4 – 6 hour period of time.

Hence yet another Spanish phenomenon occurs, just stick your arm out and he stops right outside your house… No need to be in a designated parking space for ice cream vans, just do the transaction from your front garden, without a queue of traffic to induce a guilt complex.

However, when a Spanish household flags him,, (no need to point finger at pictures on window for desired choice). Ice cream van man exits his carriage, coolant in hand, and they all stand there putting the world to rights. Such a conversation can go on for anything up to an hour. Hence our little road can take him anything up to 4 – 6 hours to negotiate…

Great stuff, the only caveat is his theme tune… Remember “The Happy Wanderer” song? Well if you don´t, it gets stuck in your head and goes like this:

Val-de-ri, val-de-ra,
Val-de-ri, val-de-ra, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Val-de-ri, val-de-ra

Blah Blah…

Has to be one of the most mind numbingly putrid songs ever created.

Numbing it may be, but nevertheless, imprinted on the brain it definitely is… It wouldn´t be so bad if Mr Costa whippy whipped round this local Costa quick smart. Not only can you hear his not imminent arrival you can also hear his not imminent departure.

The only saving grace is that he switches off the raucous racket while he´s sat in someone´s front garden having a good old chinwag.

Note: Mr Costa seems to spend more time doing that than he does business… Never mind profit margins, unplanned social meetings are much more important in Espania…

Now that´s the way life´s supposed to be, mucho respecto…

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