Qualifications: Must be able to eat lick human feet, in the dark of 30 degrees C, outside a bar, and under a table:

Feet Meet Fran…

“That enough…?”

“Why yes, go have a rest little one.”

“No, I think I´ve missed a bit,, will you give me a good job reference…?”

“I´ll print one off tomorrow.”

To clarify the situation, I´d just had a shower and certainly did not have smelly sweaty feet. So we came to the conclusion she took a liking to the moisturiser I´d slapped all over them before we went out…

Hence while the conversation flowed, I drifted up to and occasionally down from cloud nine. “Heather Helen you still with us?”

“Erm, yeh, yeh, hello,, what did you just say? Were we talking about skiing down a mountain…?”

The only effort involved was having to walk home on my freshly pedicured soles, and then another shower before getting into bed…