Humour

Lazy Laidback Views?

Laidback in more ways than one, and no,, I´m not a contortionist…

A couple of days ago we went to our local “playa for playing in” and it came as a surprise to find lots of breakers coming in.

The normally peaceful mill pond was throwing a wobbler, Dave managed to get this photo of me wading into the warm warm surf sea:

SAM_3012

Then he bazzed the camera in the beach bag and came in for a paddle, yes a paddle. By this time I was further out, diving gracefully into the waves. Then I heard him shout something but couldn´t hear what. As I waded back to decipher what he was saying a wave caught me side on, never ever turn side on to an incoming wall of water……….

Oops, over I went like a disgraceful ballerina, laidback laid on the sea bed I had to crawl back in whilst looking behind, checking out at what point I needed to take a breath. Honestly, standing up was impossible…

When I eventually clambered close enough to hear what he said it was a measly:

“I was trying to tell you to BE CAREFUL!!!”

“Oh you idiot, it´s all your fault for making me turn sideways, I´m always carefu…” BANG, another one went over my head.

And he just stood there watching…

So I had to shout: “Well help me stand up — before the lifeguard arrives on scene…!”

It was only then that he stepped forward to assist. I can only assume there were two reasons he did nothing and watched:

a) Leave her to drown.

b) Don´t leave her to drown, but teach her a lesson that I was right.

Either way I was not best pleased, because he was not right, it just looked like he was…

“It was all your fault”

“No it wasn´t”

“Yes it was, you made me turn round”

“No I didn´t”

“Yes you did”

“You were too far out”

“No I wasn´t”

“Yes you were”

“But I was in control”

“No you weren´t”

“Yes I WAS”

This debate still continued while we were firmly planted on dry land sand, lasted even longer than it took for me to crawl out…

Laid back in more ways than one, um, part two:

Forget the Med, yesterday we agreed to jump into the relative safety of the calm swimming pool…

View from where I briefly “laid back”

SAM_2913

Next door to this…

SAM_1368

Wonderful, except out of all the sun loungers, I got the only one with a broken plastic frame… Yes, totally hidden away under the comfy cover. It laid back waiting to break someone´s back… It felt a bit weird but I just thought my towel was all crumpled up. It usually is,, I sometimes feel jealous of people who can keep their´s perfectly straight.

Anyway, as I went to stand up and venture into the calm pool that´s now as warm as a bath, the plastic legs collapsed outward bound. Stuck IN or NEXT TO water I was AGAIN. Thankfully this time my knight in shining armour came to the rescue immediately. No waves = very brave.

But I was determined, and while I swam about a nice big bruise the size of a potato began to appear on my leg. Totally unaware till I got out. OUCH.

Trouble in paradise? Pass me an oxygen mask, some ICE, and perhaps a wheelchair…

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