Humour

Bingo Bungles

The only time I´ve ever won at BINGO is when there were no prizes left, no word of a lie, I´ll post a link to that particularly bizarre situation later.

But first, last night´s attempt to attain BINGO CELEBRITY STATUS, tantalisingly close as it was, turned out to be futile.

Dave´s in RED, I´m in BLUE, and a very pretty colour scheme it was too.

RULES: It was a music BINGO setup. Videos on screen, cards on table, eyes up, then down, and work out if the song / group was written on your card. If so, put a big X over it.

OUTCOME Round 1: Just one left on each card before “YES, GOT IT” from someone else. {Round of applause, slow hand clap from me}

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OUTCOME Round 2: Just two left for Dave, then “OOARGH it´s me!” from across the way. {Shit}

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Our friend Mick, taking the Mick:

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Round 3: Change of plan, get TWO cards each, ended up with three cards and just one song left to win! Then “Yoo Hoo, it´s me-eee!” But wait! She´d got one wrong! The game was still on, surely the odds {or even evens} {or gods} were with us! Alas not, the next lucky winner got it right. I mean it´s not like there were thousands of people in the crowd. Piffle. 

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Later on we bought 5 raffle tickets (for the price of 4) to potentially participate in “Play your cards right.” We had numbers 221 to 225, unsurprisingly 226 was first out of the hat. Forget the rest then.

Even worse, the same woman won both that and music Round 1. Hmm. After winning a round of BINGO she should´ve been banned from buying any raffle tickets.

Sore loser, what, me?????? Our friends had a great time taking the p*ss good style, so I deliberately played the game part even more. Definitely a “fall under the table laughing” situation, as per norm, BINGO or not.

Returning to the empty ruffled raffle table story I mentioned earlier. Winner number 10 exempt for obvious reasons, but every other lucky winner had a choice of what was sat there. Being as I was unwittingly winner number 11, upon realisation there was nothing left but sympathy from the crowd. So I asked if I could have the tablecloth as compensation. Tight cow wouldn´t even give me an empty box to hide in, should´ve seen the look on her face when I grabbed the microphone instead.

The full length version of this torrid tale is somewhere amidst this post. There´s an extra twist at the beginning of it, we won a bottle of drain cleaner and went to Church after.

Amen.

2 thoughts on “Bingo Bungles

  1. A bottle of drain cleaner? That is wonderful, Heather! LOL. Sounds like you guys had quite the time in the old bingo hall. My mom and grandmother were bingo mavens. I never had the patience for it. Fun post, as always.

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  2. The “drain cleaner” was some kind of alcoholic spirit we´d never heard of. 47% proof!!!! I got fed up of seeing it in the cupboard so yes it did go down the plughole! It would definitely “kill all known germs” lol

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