As we innocently wandered into our local bar for quiz night, I noticed a “spaghetti western style” poster in the window.

Curiosity set in.

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Blimey it was ME!

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Oh dear, I should never have stolen that beer mat…


“Yes Helen?” {AKA HEATHER}

“What´s this,, lil old me, a piss taker??? I could never be guilty of that, AND since when has taking the piss been a crime eh? AND you´re worse than me!”

“Under the verbal abuse act from women only, passed in 1912…..”

“Aha, but this is Spain.”

“Well they have it here too.”

{DAVE} “Does that say DEAD OR ALIVE? I can take care of it.” {Hands go round my neck}

“No need Dave, La Guardia came round earlier and asked me to stick this up my stick it in the window. I´ve just rung them now, they´re on their way.”

{My hands go round Trevor´s neck}

Previous to that we bumped {literally} into some friends outside, and I was whisked up off the floor in a bear hug and swung round in a circle. Must´ve looked like a Strictly Come Dancing move gone ass about tit. Nearly broke my ribcage!

See what I have to put up with?????

By the time I sat down, I´d taken part in a wrestling match, and almost been throttled.

Furthermore, the local sheriff was on his way, and I was about to be arrested.

Just an average night out really……….

6 thoughts on “WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

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