Spain

My Laptop Locked Me Out

Must be payback, revenge, justice, it all amounts to mutiny.

When creating a blog post I plonk myself outside, and sit under the arches of the front terrace. With the warm sun radiating forth even in winter, it’s now the normal thing to do. As an expat Brit, I know this is not possible in the UK without turning into an ice sculpture.

Consequently, it means that Spanish laptops live most of their life outdoors too. Cleaning and maintenance of it´s exterior isn´t a problem in itself. But lack of pampering must be, I haven´t given it a spa treatment for months. End result today being, switch on, hit enter for the password box to appear, and nothing happens. 

I thought this background courtesy of “Microsoft delivery systems incorporated” was quite apt. A not very pretty gated entrance to what looks like the innards of a spaceship.

“Like what you see?”

2017-01-30 17.58.22

NO, I´d already pressed ENTER three times before taking this photo.

As I sat there wondering what to do, it produced a Blue Screen of Death (with error message) then rebooted itself. Same dam picture, but this time I was allowed through the gate.

I don´t want to see that error again so I got my virtual toolbox out, fixed the problem and removed the padlock. It wasn´t drastic, but it´s drastic when you can´t get in. Irony seems to follow me round these days, a setting in “Component Services” had to be changed.

In my own defence, I do look after it properly, just don´t pander to whims.

It gets spared from direct sunlight in summer, simply because it might start to warp or melt or even blow up. But never mind all that, the main reason being it’s impossible to see the screen without shade. Measures have to be taken for humans to find shade when it’s pushing 50 degrees C. Keeping still in direct sun is not an option, we get a nice even tan in the shade. Aside from the sun tan the same rules apply to a laptop.

My own outdoor laptop also has other things to cope with. Including me. For example.

The odd tiny size fly that´s good at acrobatics. These flies are easy to fix, just splat them flat with a fingertip, doesn´t matter where they are {screen, keyboard etc} Most times I get lucky with those, carefully remove any remaining body parts afterwards. There´s always a smudge left behind, but I leave it for the big clean up that never happens.

A few sneaky tiny ones find their way between the keys before a fingertip search is possible. They never come out again, so it must be like a graveyard under there.   

The odd medium size mozzie sees a human reflection on screen, it dive bombs the fake person, but doesn´t seem to understand the situation. For obvious reasons I leave well alone, if it wants to hang out for a while then it can wander (and wonder).

However, a visible mozzie can only be tolerated for a limited amount of time. Eventually a quick flip of the hand is required. If I´m wearing nail varnish at the time, a line of whatever colour it is remains on screen, I can see one now from a few months ago. It´s purple.

Have some sympathy here, beyond the mozzie swipe a red alert situation occurs. It might´ve realised the reflection was a con,, and it might´ve worked out the cause. 

Last year a row of bluebottles sat atop the lid watching me type. A silent hand flip and a LOUD “bugger off” meant they all flew three foot away, did a U Turn and returned. This repetitive performance went on for several hours. I´ve seen sparrows lined up gossiping on many occasions, but bluebottles?

Lesson learned and shared. If ever your laptop starts attracting things with wings, create a schedule for a regular wash and scrub of your equipment. Just bung it in the washer for an hour and hang out to dry. Sorted.

In a bizarre twist of fate, Dave´s laptop always remains pristine clean and shiny, no critters ever land on {or in} his. It´s mine they all flock to, perhaps I´m supposed to be fluttered flattered?

PS: I´ve just set the washer for a hot wash to test out my theory…

5 thoughts on “My Laptop Locked Me Out

    1. Never realign a dream Susan, keep on heading towards it!
      In other news I hung the darn thing out to dry after the appointment with the washing machine. It’s been blowing bubbles ever since and they’ve made a right old mess of the screen…

      Liked by 1 person

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