Neigh, Any Laughter Is Banned From This Blog Post

Four of us went for a horse riding LESSON in a paddock yesterday. Our last outing a couple of weeks ago was all about “follow my leader” but this was different.

We had to obey commands then pass them on to what we were sat on. Three of the group successfully managed to form a nice cosy convoy, one didn’t…

There I sat aboard “Rapido” who prefers ambling around using impulse power rather than warp drive. He also bashed my leg while we weaved our way through a slalom, then missed another post completely. Thankfully the teacher wasn’t looking.

Rapido is a lovely horse but small, I thought I was small too, a nice fit,, till I saw the photos.

Photos courtesy of Jesus Garcia.

Nobody told me I looked like I was sat on a donkey.


Note the huge gap that appeared between me and the horse in front.


This is what I was supposed to look like, all elegant like B, sat on top of a horse from the household cavalry.

B 3

These photos (and more taken that day) have already been plastered all over Farcebook and shared beyond shared. Dented my ego? Definitely not,, I was the one who said I looked like a right prat. Aside from the odd fake sympathy vote, everyone else subtly or mostly not subtly agreed.

Welcome to my life.

In ten days time we´re all doing “The Tapas Tour.” Two hours there, two hours back, half an hour in between for food and drink in the middle of nowhere.

I´m going to have to put my horseshoe down and demand a handsome steed that can get out of first gear. By the time Rapido reaches the watering hole it will have a “CLOSED” sign on the door, and everyone else will be on their way back.

Just think, I could end up lost in the wilderness {close to where they filmed Spaghetti Westerns} for months on end. Horses don´t do geo location and tucking your smartphone under the saddle isn´t a good idea at all. Besides, elf and safety dictates.

John Wayne always had pockets to keep his equipment in, perhaps I could smuggle my designer handbag of choice and hope it blends in with the tackle…

3 thoughts on “Neigh, Any Laughter Is Banned From This Blog Post

    1. Oh my,, the Tapas run hasn´t happened yet. So I’m going to ask for a horse called “Lento” {Spanish for slow} might actually get there in time. After trying to manage Rapido twice, his name is definitely a Spanish piss take….!

      Will let you know the outcome, if I can smuggle my phone in, they still have “Wee Fee” amidst the half desert — half irrigated fruit wilderness. Be plenty of food for both of us to survive if nothing else.

      Liked by 1 person

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