I solved the Covid 19 toilet paper issue

I was sat watching yet another boring tutorial about how to wash your hands properly (yawn). But this wasn´t just your average tutorial, I noticed at the end it said “wipe your hands dry with a tissue, then throw it away”. Oh really? So why does this new toilet paper status never get a mention in other sanitized lessons?

THEY knew this all the time, THEY must be the chosen ones, THEY can walk out of a supermarket with a trolley full of toilet rolls while the rest of us stand by with question marks above our heads. It must´ve been a real downer for the guy who told the world by mistake. AHA! We all know the reason why and how it works now, forget the grubby hand towel folks, do the right thing. Fill your trolley while wearing a smug expression. Just one problem, empty shelves prevail now so good luck.

Well now that´s sorted, lets flush out what being on lockdown while surrounded by Covid 19 does to the human soul. I was watching Trevor Noah on YouTube and he said “Isolation makes you find out who you really are.” Unfortunately this means I´ve turned into a lazy nitwit slob who couldn´t be assed doing anything. Even having a shower is a monumental achievement.

Bored, tired, no motivation, apathetic, no inspiration, no liberty. Even the knowledge that you`re not alone doesn´t help. There´s three of us stuck in this house, millions of people in the same situation all over Europe and beyond, a surreal reality for us all now.

Our son just got sent a photo from a friend of his in Germany who said he´s “watching football.” There he is, sat in a chair watching a round barbeque with a football placed inside it… Something to laugh at, oh wait, what does the word “laugh” mean?

Well at least we can remember what emotions are like, in fact there´s the odd moment when they still exist.

Yesterday I sewed up a hole in a T shirt, it was a truly wonderful achievement and for about 5 minutes I was very emotional. In the good old days I would´ve given it to charity and bought a new one, but under the circumstances we are the charity case, and all the shops are shut.

I went up to the conservatory on the roof terrace, looked at my step machine and exercise bike. Gorgeous views downhill to the sea, I used to do 7 kilometres worth of peddling, massive window open, and watch CRUISE SHIPS tootle by on the horizon. Nice memories.

Later on Dave´s going to put some petrol in the car, the garage is only about a kilometre away, but jealousy is an issue here. Only the driver is allowed in a car, and if you get stopped by the cops they want to see a receipt for whatever you´ve bought in order to survive. Reason being is that no-one can sneak round to their friends house for a secret party. It´s a bit mean, but whatever.. I´d love to just go out, even if it means driving past empty bars, restaurants, and shops. There´s still sweeping views of crops, greenery, and distant mountains if you look the other way.

Ironically it´s ok to take a dog for a walk, all three of us have discussed the exciting option of borrowing someone else´s.

You´d think this thing would be a bonus, yes we can all sit outside in the warmth of sunshine here, and it can cure a lot of things, but not boredom.

2016-03-10 17.48.31 

As morbid as things are, we are all grateful to the Spanish emergency services, Spain has one of the best healthcare systems in the world and was well prepared for what was coming. When we see the MESS across the Atlantic in the US we feel very thankful. The American people should ignore every unverified lie that comes out of Trump´s mouth, bypass him, take direct advice from medical experts, and follow local governor´s restrictions.

Don´t forget the toilet paper.

2 thoughts on “I solved the Covid 19 toilet paper issue

    1. Yep, toilet paper issue worked out, or not as the case may be!
      But I read somewhere that air dryer systems can be dodgy, because wet hands which may not have been washed properly touch the sides. Old fashioned air blowers where dancing arms about to “Hey Margarita” might be ok though.

      Liked by 1 person

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