Opticians are open now, so sometime last week I walked in with my dead pair of jigsaw glasses. Don´t ask me what day it was, or even which time zone we´re in.
First of all, the place was devoid of humans except the little guy stood at the desk, he was pretending to do something important whilst also faffing about with his facemask. It was the art of removing my own facemask that caused the glasses catastrophe in the first place.
I´ve noticed faffing with your facemask is a common thing now. Never mind getting out of the car and checking your clothing´s sat where it should be, no-one would bat an eyelid if your skirt was stuck in your knickers. It´s all about continual facemask adjustment and maintenance. I was shopping the other day and a guy stood 2 metres away had a facemask disfunction, the elastic on one side fell off. He was facially naked and I was horrified.
Meanwhile back at the opticians, things got a bit tense, but I hid it. These
are were designer glasses, see here for insight. Or outsight. Keeping the lenses would be ok, but even new frames would cost a fair bit. So:
- The receipt was out of date, I knew it, and he just found out while still having an argument his facemask.
- He was very calm about the situation, took several photos to send back to the manufacturer, but told me that repair probably wouldn´t be possible.
- He rang the next day to let me know it definitely wasn´t possible (Oh what a surprise). “Bring the jigsaw glasses in and we´ll find you some that fit the lenses.” I did, and found a very nice shiny pair, they´d be ready the next day.
- But,, he needed the side bit of the jigsaw ones to send the jigsaw back to the manufacturer. It was sitting round somewhere at home, I eventually found it, off we go.
- Unfortunately it turned out “the side bit” I found belonged to an old pair of Dave´s sunglasses.. Why do men store up such useless stuff? Even worse, why did I even look there? When the guy said it didn´t belong to my ex jigsaw glasses I was gobsmacked, what the..? Then I saw the superglue residue.. Oh crap he´s right.
- To be fair, and this was very fair, he gave me the new designer glasses and told me there was no cost! It was like I´d won the lottery, but I kept cool about it. I mean he still hadn´t received the missing piece which I promised to bring in.
- On the way home I found it in the original box, which for some reason I´d thrown in my outsize handbag. So we did a U-turn on Aldi car park. I presented the remainder of the jigsaw, then asked “Do I get my new glasses now?” To which he replied “You´re wearing them.” (Oh yes I am, so shocked at winning the lottery, I forgot).
It´s Dave´s fault for not noticing.
So here´s the new pair of Vogue designer glasses with a higher price tag than the others, FOR FREE.
As expected during my time of which eye to use, hubby and son created a huge spectacle of entertainment between themselves while I walked around (household only) wearing one sided specs on a 45 degree angle. Thankfully Vogue put a stop to all that nonsense.
Also got away with “not beyond the garden gate” by wearing my (also prescription) sunglasses, great, would´ve been wearing them anyway. So thank you sunshine for allowing me to see proper.
Moral of the story, the facemask that protects can also cause destruction.