Is it not enough that the closest thing we can have to a romantic meal out means rearranging a garden table and chairs in the garage or shed?

Oh my goodness what fun we could have had sat amidst power tools, step ladders, and garden compost. But OUR big night out had to be cancelled due to a house arrest disaster on a tragic scale. I feel like I´m going crazy.

It was about 11am last night, we´d been binge watching our fav series of the moment. I needed the loo and went in the downstairs bathroom, hubby also needed the loo and went in the upstairs bathroom, or tried… I heard “Heather get some towels, NOW!” No word of a lie, there was water literally gushing down the wall tiles, about half an inch on the floor tiles, even coming down through the light fittings, oh and the ceiling has bulges in it. One of the light fittings in the kitchen also had water running down it.

Happy Valentines day.

THE CULPRIT, THE HOT WATER TANK, AND NO, THE TILES ARENT SLANTED, I´m a pissed off photographer today. Looks like just a small puddle underneath it now. By the time we discovered the mess, hubby ran upstairs to switch it off, too late, it was almost empty.

This is where it lives, up on the roof terrace in it´s own little house with the door flat to the wall. Nice idea one might think, out of sight, out of mind, TILL it wants some glory.

Bathroom ceiling

This corner was a waterfall.

Welcome to our upstairs toilet.

What feels like fifty years ago, in the normal times, this would be classed as an emergency situation, even on a Sunday a plumber would be available. NOPE not anymore, he can only get here tomorrow, (hell yeh enjoy your Valentine meal in the shed first).

Insurance? It´s got 24/7 on the normal times contract we pay a fortune for every year. Well HA to that, there was NO ANSWER.

So here we are, stuck with a house barely liveable in, wondering how much it´s going to cost us to get everything put right. We know from previous experience with a water pipe leak, they pay out roughly half the costs, which, with this disaster is going to involve:

• Plumber
• Plasterer
• Electrician
• Painter /Decorator

Might as well just build us a new house, this one obviously doesn´t like water, no worries, we´ll sleep in the road while it happens. I should NEVER have said “we´ve had our house for seven years and nothing´s ever gone wrong.” 

On the bright side we´ve got low pressure cold water downstairs, and much more importantly the electrics for the router are safe, which means computers, tablets, smart phones, TV, and IPTV still work. Phew, the relief is almost as high as the stress is.   

First thing tomorrow: Plumber, 10am.